EVERYONE BUT MYSELF
When Julie Chavez experienced her first panic attack at age thirty-eight, she was surprised. She had a happy life, a solid marriage, and a fulfilling job as a librarian. What could possibly be the matter?
For Julie, navigating the too-difficult process of finding support for her anxiety only made things worse. The competent, capable mother of two sobbed through her first appointment with her new therapist, Kim, worried she was experiencing a midlife crisis. Kim’s response was apt: “You’re a little young for a midlife crisis, Julie, but you may be experiencing a mid-mom crisis.”
Everyone But Myself is the story of Julie’s journey back to life—a memoir that explores what happens to mothers who give everything to their families in a series of seemingly inconsequential choices. It reminds us that we may love our people but we must tend our own gardens, too. Without preaching or prescribing, Everyone But Myself is a raw, hopeful testament to the tremendous, lasting power of small steps.
What People Are Saying
"A balm for the working mother and for caregivers of all kinds, this story reminds us that the business of living is predicated upon the relationships we forge with ourselves. With tenderness, warmth, and an attentive eye, Chavez documents the journey of a woman learning to belong to herself. This beautifully written memoir is a roadmap for learning to live with great love, essential service, and a bold, unbreakable commitment to our own sacred needs."
—Abby Maslin, Washington Post best-selling author of Love You Hard: A Memoir of Marriage, Brain Injury, and Reinventing Love
“When you are used to giving to others, but saving nothing for yourself, the sense of depletion is so strong it's hard to make changes. In this thoughtful, gentle memoir, Chavez shows how she began to choose herself, and, little by little, regain hope and purpose. I found myself grateful Chavez began to take steps to choose herself, and hopeful that I could do the same.”
—Anna Whiston Donaldson, New York Times best-selling author of Rare Bird: A Memoir of Loss and Love
“In the space of one summer, illness and tragedy threaten a woman’s sense of self and her professional and domestic stability, too. But little by little, with the help of those who love her (and assists from brand new friends), our narrator finds her way back to mental health and joyfulness in this candid and deeply heartfelt memoir that will resonate with any reader who has struggled to be all that the world asks.”
— Courtney Maum, author of The Year of the Horses: A Memoir
“In this beautifully written and brutally honest memoir, Chavez takes the reader on a journey through the trials of motherhood, mental health and self-discovery. We walk away with a renewed ability to accept our frailty, leading us to a place of self-kindness, mindfulness and common humanity.”
—Stephanie Thornton Plymale, New York Times best-selling author of American Daughter; CEO, Heritage School of Interior Design; Founder, Heritage Home Foundation
"Chavez’s book gently—and sometimes not-so gently—suggests that finding the words to ask for mental health help isn’t the hardest part, that it’s actually acknowledging the roadblocks we’ve been taught to just push through. Her journey is a vulnerable one, yes, but also bitingly funny and incredibly relatable. She’s the reassuring pal we all need, the one who’ll show up with an armload of lattes and color-coded pens and paper—so when she says the struggle is real and hand-draws you a map of her personal exit route? What a gift."
—Keely Flynn, award-winning arts columnist and humorist for Chicago Parent Magazine, Tidyish, and Lollygag Blog
